How to - Deal With Difficult Situations Many people will tell you that there is no conflict in their organization – and what they often mean is that when there IS conflict, it is avoided. Therefore the disagreement simply goes underground and remains unarticulated and unresolved.

When resolving conflict, the following guidelines are part of a valuable philosophy to have:

1. Preserve Dignity and Self-Respect

That goes for all of the people involved in the conflict. In a heated discussion, it is easy to say something demeaning. Keep your focus on the issues you are talking about, not personalities. Unless proven otherwise, assume that the people are expressing legitimate concerns when they disagree. Even if they appear stupid or stubborn to you, you won't get any closer to resolving the dispute by putting them down.

2. Listen With Empathy

Try to put yourself in their shoes. See things from their perspective. If their ideas conflict with what you already believe, see if you are discounting their message. Are you communicating hostility in your tone or body language? To fully get the information basic to managing differences, you need to listen with a neutrality that suspends critical judgment. When you listen fully to understand, you send the message that you respect them, regardless of whether or not you agree with them.

3. Don't Expect To Change Others' Behavior

When the stakes are high, the reflex reaction to disagreement is the desire to change the other person's basic behavioral style. Changing your own behavior is tough enough. Changing the behavioral traits of someone else is almost impossible. Instead, focus on what you say and do when you are with a "difficult" person. Behaviors automatically transform when either person changes their customary pattern of relating to the other.

4. Express Your Independent Perspective

When you are the lone dissenter, it is tempting to surrender your conviction to conform to more popular views. At other times, it is possible to get so enmeshed in the dispute that you loose the war in order to win the battle. What you provide others is your individual point of view - which means that you have to reflect about what really matters to you.

Labels: Communication, difficult, expressions

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