How to – Apologize for Misunderstandings If the words “I’m sorry” stick in your throat, you aren’t alone. Few people look forward to apologizing. While it’s probably true that the reasons to apologize are anything to celebrate, the value of an apology itself has great merit because it is a chance to strengthen your relationship with the receiver.

When things are going smoothly at work, relationships go well; but the real test is when a crisis or problem occurs. How you help one another in the wake of an error is the test and the builder of effective relationships with people. If you owe someone an apology, the way you handle it can be the difference between being seen either as professional or inept.

When an apology is called for:

• Don’t wait. You shouldn’t have to be asked for your apology or an explanation. Take the initiative and be proactive.

• Offer help. Don’t only apologize, but offer whatever assistance you can to make things right. You are not seeking to simply repair the damage, but trying to improve relations.


Not only is it important to offer a remedy, but how you go about making that offer is important as well:

1. Apologize; say that you are sorry.

2. Empathize; express understanding of the other person’s feelings.

3. Shape the conversation so that, as you are working towards a solution, “I” and “you” become “we.”

Be aware of the difference between an explanation and an excuse. You owe the injured party an explanation. Outline the facts and circumstances that surround the error. They don’t want to hear why the problem wasn’t your fault. If your explanation serves to vindicate you, that’s good. If not, offer no additional defense.

Sometimes the words are hard to find. If you are in search of a script, see if the following can be adapted to your situation:

“I’m very sorry that I was late with the data you needed. I know that put you in a difficult position.”

“I’m willing to explain to the VP that the problem was on my end. We didn’t get the results back from the client on time. There was nothing I could do about that, but I should have told you as soon as I saw that there was going to be a problem. I’d like to explain that to the VP.”

“I know the VP has a short fuse about that sort of thing. I’m sorry to have put you in the line of fire.”  7:32 PM •